


Sherlock In Love

by pulangaraw



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-21
Updated: 2011-06-21
Packaged: 2017-10-20 15:18:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/214145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LONDON - SUMMER 1598<br/>In the glory days of Elizabethan theatre, one writer was at the height of his success. But success, as many writers know, is a fickle mistress and words that flow easily one day are dried out like riverbeds in the summer the next. But who knows where inspiration may be found. This is a tale of love and hate, loyalty and betrayal. And maybe it has a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sherlock In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Dear gentle reader. A word of advice before you embark on this adventure. Besides being absolutely historically inaccurate, a lot of the plot and even some of the dialogue has been stolen from greater writers than me (namely William Shakespeare, Marc Norman & Tom Stoppard). Still, if you look upon this work with a kind heart, I do hope you will find some pleasure in it.

  
**The Characters:**   


Sherlock Holmes - A young, rich gentleman. To be married to Lady Donovan  
John Watson - a playwright  
Lestrade - owner of a theatre  
Mycroft Holmes - brother of Sherlock, eager to marry him off  
Lord Donovan - A judge, Lady Donovan’s father  
Lady Sally Donovan - a noble lady, to be married to Sherlock  
James Moriarty - an actor  
Anderson - another actor  
Prisoner 1 - a prisoner  
Barman - owner of the tavern  
Serving Girl - a ‘working girl’

  
**Sherlock In Love**   


LONDON - SUMMER 1598

 _In the glory days of Elizabethan theatre, one writer was at the height of his success._

 _But success, as many writers know, is a fickle mistress and words that flow easily one day are dried out like riverbeds in the summer the next._

 _And sometimes, inspiration can be found where it is least expected._

 

 _Act I, Scene 1_

JOHN sits at his desk, paper and quills spread out in a mess around him. He has his head in his hands, resigned. He’s suffering from writers block.

The door opens. Enters LESTRADE.

 **Lestrade**

John! Where is my play? Tell me you have it nearly done!

 **John**

It’s all locked. Safe in here. (taps his forehead)

 **Lestrade**

Oh wonderful! (then looks doubtful)

What do you mean, locked?

 **John**

I will write it. As soon as I’ve found my muse.

 **Lestrade**

Who is it?

 **John**

(sighs) I wish I knew.

 **Lestrade**

You better find her soon. The moneylenders only wait so long. We need a play!

 **John**

Just leave me be!

 **Lestrade**

We need a play!

JOHN ignores him. LESTRADE leaves.

 _Act I, Scene 2_

Outside London in a stately home. SHERLOCK sits at the window, staring out over the grounds. The door opens. Enters MRS HUDSON.

 **Mrs Hudson**

Are you moody again, young Sir?

 **Sherlock**

Moody. Bored. Bored and moody. There is nothing else in life besides those two.

 **Mrs Hudson**

Oh, come, come. Surely there must be something that brightens your day. You’re going to the theatre again tomorrow, are you not?

 **Sherlock**

(brightens for a moment) Yes.

 **Mrs Hudson**

There we go. That’s the spirit.

 **Sherlock**

What do you think, Mrs Hudson, would I make for a good actor?

 **Mrs Hudson**

Playhouses are not for well-born lads.

 **Sherlock**

I am not so well-born

 **Mrs Hudson**

Well-monied is the same as well-born these days. And well-married is more so. Lady Donovan was looking at you the other night.

 **Sherlock**

(scoffs) She is without wit or poetry. No spark, that one. Besides, she’s having an affair with the stable boy -

 **Mrs Hudson**

(disrupts) Shush, boy. Do not speak of such matters. It will make your brother angry.

 **Sherlock**

Only because he knows it to be true. But, let’s not talk about such dreary matters anymore. What’s the play tomorrow.

 **Mrs Hudson**

Marlowe’s newest tragedy, I believe. The cook saw it last week and says it is brilliant. She cried all night over it.

 **Sherlock**

The cook’s an idiot.

Bah, Marlowe. He is dull. No flair, no passion. And his plots are too easy. I wish there’d be a new Watson. Now there’s a fellow who can write. I wish I could meet him.

 **Mrs Hudson**

And what good would that do?

 **Sherlock**

Ah, who knows...

 **Mrs Hudson**

(crosses herself) Such fancies could land you in jail or worse.

 **Sherlock**

(winks and smiles mischievously) Only if I’m caught.

 

 _Act I, Scene 3_

A tavern in London. JOHN enters and walks up to the bar.

 **Barman**

Why John, you’re early.

 **John**

Is the day so young?

 **Barman**

It’s only gone four in the afternoon.

 **John**

Ay me. Sad hours seem long.

 **Barman**

What sadness lengthens your hours?

 **John**

Not having that which makes them short.

 **Barman**

In love?

 **John**

Out.

 **Barman**

Out of love?

 **John**

Alas, that love should be such a fickle mistress. A madness that comes over men and leaves them quite beside themselves afterwards.

Good friend, I have lost myself, I am not here. This is not John, he’s some other where.

 **Barman**

(to the side) Poets...

(to John) How ‘bout a drink, to lift the spirits.

 **John**

Trying to find myself at the bottom of a bottle...

Go on then, better drown my sorrows than drown myself in the Thames.

 

 _Act I, Scene 4_

SHERLOCK at the theatre with MYCROFT, LADY DONOVAN, Queen Elizabeth I. and a group of nobles.

On stage a group of actors is performing a play. One of the actors is James MORIARTY. SHERLOCK looks bored. He is purposely ignoring the meaningful glances that both MYCROFT and LADY DONOVAN are trying to throw him.

In the shadows is JOHN WATSON, watching the play. He, too, looks bored. His gaze wanders over the crowd until he spots SHERLOCK. He stares at him, unable to tear his eyes away.

SHERLOCK notices that he’s being watched and looks around to find JOHN staring at him. JOHN, startled at being found staring, melts into the shadows.

SHERLOCK looks after him, brow furrowed in thought.

 

 _Act I, Scene 5_

JOHN’s room at night. He comes in, lights a candle. Then he walks straight to the desk and sits down. He takes up quill and paper, stares in front of him. Then suddenly he begins to write.

(fade to black/fade in)

It is now daylight and JOHN is still writing furiously. The candle is still burning, although it is no longer needed. He has been writing all night. He finishes the last sentence with a flourish, then gathers up the pages and gets up to leave the house.

On his way out he nearly runs into LESTRADE.

 **John**

(waves the pages in LESTRADE’s face) ‘Hamnet and Ethel the Pirate’s Daughter’. Scene one. God, I’m good.

 **Lestrade**

You’ve found your muse then?

 **John**

(grins) And what a muse it is! Lestrade, gather the actors, we have a play to set up!

 **Lestrade**

Finally!

 _Act I, Scene 6_

At the theatre. JOHN and LESTRADE are in the stands, a procession of wanna-be actors are auditioning for roles in JOHN’s new play. Some are good, some are bad. Every single one chooses the same line from Marlowe to recite. JOHN and LESTRADE look a bit depressed.

 **Lestrade**

Did you see your Hamnet?

 **John**

I did not.

 **Lestrade**

Well, we’ll have to make do. When can I see more pages?

 **John**

Tomorrow.

 **Lestrade**

Until tomorrow, then. (leaves)

A young man (SHERLOCK in disguise) enters the stage.

 **Sherlock**

May I begin, Sir?

 **John**

Your name?

 **Sherlock**

Colin Morgan.

 **John**

Go on. (waves a hand, only half paying attention)

 **Sherlock**

(recites) When I consider every thing that grows

holds in perfection but a little moment.

That this huge stage presenteth nought but shows

whereon the stars in secret influence comment...

JOHN sits up and pays attention as soon as SHERLOCK starts to speak. At first it’s because he is the first to not use Marlowe, but soon he is captivated by the speaker. He has found his Hamnet!

 **John**

Where did you learn to do that?

 **Sherlock**

(startled) I...

 **John**

Wait there!

 **Sherlock**

Are you John Watson?

SHERLOCK panics. He did not expect to meet his favourite author like this. He runs off stage. JOHN runs after him. He chases SHERLOCK to the river. SHERLOCK takes a boat. JOHN follows him in another boat to the Holmes mansion. SHERLOCK vanishes inside.

 **John**

Do you know that house?

 **Boatsman**

That’s the Holmes’ residence.

 **John**

And the boy?

 **Boatsman**

I couldn’t say.

 **John**

You don’t know him?

 **Boatsman**

Nope.

JOHN gets out and rushes up to the house.

 

 _Act II, Scene 1_

At the Holmes’ house. It is now evening. The household is getting ready to throw a party. Guests are arriving in carriages, etc...

Cut to SHERLOCK’s bedroom.

 **Mycroft**

Where is he? Our guests are upon us, Lord Donovan too, with his daughter. I want the matter settled tonight. It wouldn’t do for him to be late.

 **Mrs Hudson**

He will be ready presently.

 **Sherlock**

(enters) What’s the commotion?

 **Mycroft**

The guests are waiting. Are you not ready yet?

 **Sherlock**

As ready as I’ll ever be.

 **Mycroft**

Guard your tongue, little brother. You don’t want to scare away your future wife.

 **Sherlock**

(to the side) I wish I could.

 **Mycroft**

Behave! If I could marry her myself I would. Ungrateful pup.

 **Sherlock**

Yes, yes. We’ve heard the speech. Let’s get on with it.

 

 _Act II, Scene 2_

Outside the house, JOHN is still lurking, looking for a way in to speak to Colin/SHERLOCK. He spots a group of musicians making their way to the house. He approaches one of them.

 **John**

Master Plum, what business here?

 **Musician**

A five shilling business. We play for the dancing.

 **John**

You mind adding a player?

 **Musician**

Only if I don’t have to divide the pay.

Cut to the banquet hall. JOHN has gotten in with the musicians. People are milling about, eating, talking, dancing. John glances around, looking for Colin/SHERLOCK.

In another corner of the room, MYCROFT is standing with LORD DONOVAN and LADY DONOVAN. They agree on the marriage arrangements and shake hands. MYCROFT waves SHERLOCK over from a corner where he has been hiding.

 **Mycroft**

Brother, all is well.

 **Sherlock**

I doubt that.

 **Mycroft**

The wedding is to be held in two weeks. Is there anything you wish to say?

 **Sherlock**

No.

 **Lord Donovan**

Have you nothing to say to your future bride?

 **Sherlock**

Nothing suitable.

(walks off)

JOHN has spotted SHERLOCK during this and now follows him out into the garden.

 **John**

Master Morgan!

SHERLOCK keeps walking. JOHN runs and catches up to him.

 **John**

Master Morgan, a word.

 **Sherlock**

(stops and turns to face JOHN) There is no Master Morgan.

 **John**

What is your name, then?

 **Sherlock**

Sherlock Holmes.

Who are you?

 **John**

John Watson. We met earlier today at the playhouse.

 **Sherlock**

What do you want?

 **John**

To tell you that I have found my Hamnet.

 **Sherlock**

Beg your pardon?

 **John**

You. I want you.

SHERLOCK raises his eyebrows. JOHN blushes.

 **John**

For the new play.

 **Sherlock**

I am no actor.

 **John**

You’re the best damn actor I’ve met. You’re brilliant.

 **Sherlock**

(smiles despite himself) You’re not half-bad as a writer.

 **John**

You’ll take the role?

 **Sherlock**

I can’t.

They stare at each other.

 **John**

(to himself) Oh, I am fortune’s fool. I will be punished for this...

JOHN steps forward and kisses SHERLOCK. SHERLOCK gasps and takes a step back.

 **Mrs Hudson**

(from off stage) Master Sherlock!

 **Sherlock**

(loud) Anon, Mrs Hudson.

(to JOHN) If someone had seen that, they would kill you.

 **John**

You can bring them with a word.

 **Mrs Hudson**

(from off stage) Sherlock!

 **Sherlock**

(to JOHN) Not for the world.

SHERLOCK leans forward and kisses JOHN. MRS HUDSON calls again.

 **Sherlock**

(breaks the kiss) Anon, anon!

(to JOHN) I must go.

 **John**

Will I see you again?

 **Sherlock**

I’ll be at the playhouse.

SHERLOCK goes back inside. JOHN watches him leave, then turns to go home himself, a spring in his step.

 

 _Act II, Scene 3_

At the theatre. The actors are preparing to rehearse the first parts of ‘Hamnet and Ethel the Pirate’s Daughter’.

 **Lestrade**

. . . so Hamnet is raised by the Markatiss, but is actually the Moffmen’s son and Ethel is the Markatiss’ daughter who was kidnapped by pirates when she was a baby?

 **John**

Yes.

 **Lestrade**

But how are they going to meet?

 **John**

Hamnet gets shipwrecked on the way to Calais. He is picked up by the pirates.

 **Lestrade**

I didn’t read that.

 **John**

Because I haven’t written it yet.

 **Lestrade**

Ah. But where is our Hamnet?

 **John**

He’ll come.

LESTRADE points to a young actor lounging on one of the benches. It is MORIARTY.

 **Lestrade**

What about Moriarty here. He’s as good an actor as you’ll ever find.

 **John**

Over my dead body.

(to MORIARTY) Get off, you!

MORIARTY scowls. He gets off the bench and leaves the theatre.

 **Moriarty**

You’ll rue this day.

SHERLOCK enters.

 **John**

There he is.

 **Lestrade**

Well, at least he’s pretty.

 **John**

(adresses the group) Gentlemen! Welcome. We are about to embark on a great voyage.

 **Anderson**

Cut the crap. Give us the pages and let’s get on with it.

The others murmur their agreement. JOHN, dispirited, hands out the play and tells them their parts. They get down to business.

 

 _Act II, Scene 4_

JOHN follows SHERLOCK home after rehearsals. He sneaks into the garden and is waiting under the balcony of SHERLOCK’s bedroom.

The light goes on inside and shortly after SHERLOCK steps out onto the balcony.

 **John**

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East and Sherlock is the sun! Arise, fair sun and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou are far more fair than he.

Oh, it is my love! Oh, that he knew he were! See how he leans his cheek upon his hand. Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!

 **Sherlock**

Oh, John!

 **John**

(whispers) He speaks my name. Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

 **Sherlock**

It’s thy name that is my enemy. Belonging to a man. Oh, be some other name! What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name  
would smell as sweet.

 **John**

(loud) I wish I could!

 **Sherlock**

Who’s there?

 **John**

By a name, I know not how to tell you who I am. For my name is hateful to myself. Because it is an enemy to you!

 **Sherlock**

John!

JOHN grabs the vines growing along the wall and climbs up onto the balcony.

 **Sherlock**

If they find you here, they’ll kill you!

 **John**

So you said before. And yet, here I am again for I cannot stay away from you.

 **Sherlock**

Oh, I am too fond of you. It is not right.

 **John**

You love me, then?

 **Sherlock**

Don’t press me. I cannot.

 **John**

And yet you said you do just now.

 **Sherlock**

I never said.

 **John**

Maybe not in words, but I can read it in your face. Your eyes, your lips - Oh, Sherlock!

JOHN takes SHERLOCK’s face between his hands and kisses him gently. SHERLOCK resists, but only for a few seconds, then he leans into the kiss, deepening it.

Fade to black.

 

 _Act II, Scene 5_

The next morning. JOHN and SHERLOCK are asleep in SHERLOCK’s bed, naked.

MRS HUDSON enters the room.

 **Mrs Hudson**

(shocked at seeing them) Dear Lord!

The sound wakes them both.

 **Sherlock**

Mrs Hudson! Shush!

 **Mrs Hudson**

You cursed boy! What have you done!

 **John**

Please, good woman-

 **Mrs Hudson**

(interrupts) You, sir, be still! What sin have you brought into this house!

 **Sherlock**

If to love is sin, I’ve sinned as much as him.

 **Mrs Hudson**

Love! He speaks of love and yet knows nothing of it.

 **John**

(getting dressed) I should go.

 **Mrs Hudson**

And don’t return.

 **John**

(to SHERLOCK) Good bye, my love.

SHERLOCK takes hold of JOHN’s arm and pulls him down for a kiss.

 **Sherlock**

(whispers) Till later.

JOHN smiles and exits.

 **Mrs Hudson**

What are you thinking? You’re too be married ‘ere the summer is gone!

 **Sherlock**

To one I do not love.

 **Mrs Hudson**

There he goes again, talking about love. What do you know of love? Young men’s love lies not truly in their hearts, but in their groins

 **Sherlock**

Love burns like a fire in my heart. I cannot think of anyone but him.

 **Mrs Hudson**

Hush, boy! It’s passion you speak of, not love.

 **Sherlock**

Passion only strengthens love, it brings fuel to the fire. But love itself is the spark that sets my soul aflame.

 **Mrs Hudson**

God save us all, he’s turned into a poet. Off to the bath you go. And pray the cold water will douse your flames!

 

 _Act III, Scene 1_

At the theatre. The actors are rehearsing the play. JOHN watches from the sidelines as Hamnet (SHERLOCK) and Ethel (ANDERSON) play out their first kiss.

 **Sherlock as Hamnet**

Oh then, dear saint, let lips do what hands to: They pray, grant thou, lest faith turns to despair.

 **Anderson as Ethel**

Saint do not move though grant for prayer’s sake.

 **Sherlock as Hamnet**

Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.

He moves forward and kisses Ethel (ANDERSON) chastely. JOHN rushes up onto the stage in a moment of jealousy, then notices the others looking at him strangely.

 **John**

No, no, no. More passion! You are in love. Let me show you.

He pushes ANDERSON aside and leans forward to kiss SHERLOCK. SHERLOCK responds immediately and the kiss is in danger of becoming anything but chaste. Before they go too far, though, JOHN pulls himself back.

 **Anderson**

(sarcastically) Well, it was lucky you were here! Maybe I should go and write the rest of the play.

 **Sherlock**

Shut up, Anderson.

JOHN steps back and decides to leave the theatre to continue writing.

 

 _Act III, Scene 2_

JOHN and SHERLOCK backstage after rehearsals. They are both half dressed, clearly in the middle of making out.

 **Sherlock**

Oh, great writer mine, give me some poetry!

 **John**

(thinks for a bit, then begins to speak)

My lovers eyes are nothing like the sun.

Coral is far more red than his lips red.

If snow be white, why then his skin is dun,

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on his head.

I have seen roses, damasked, red and white

but no such roses see I in his cheeks.

And in some perfumes there is more delight

than in the breath that from my lover reeks.

I love to hear him speak, yet well I know

That music has a far more pleasing sound.

I grant, I never saw a goddess go

My lover, when he walks, treads on the ground.

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare

as any he belied by false compare.

SHERLOCK starts laughing halfway through and is now laughing uncontrollably, holding onto JOHN to remain standing.

 **John**

(in faked distress) You mock my love!

 **Sherlock**

You were the one mocking just now!

 **John**

You were the one who asked for poetry.

 **Sherlock**

How was I supposed to know that once I gave myself to you, you’d not take me seriously any more.

 **John**

I’ll show you serious!

He starts undoing SHERLOCK breeches.

Through a gap in the wall, MORIARTY is secretly watching the two men. Once he has seen enough he pulls back and walks off. We see him smiling evilly to himself.

 

 _Act III, Scene 3_

At the Holmes’ mansion. MYCROFT is sitting in his study. A servant knocks and announces a visitor. MORIARTY enters the study.

 **Mycroft**

(dismissive) What do you want?

 **Moriarty**

I have news that will be of interest to you.

 **Mycroft**

And what news might that be?

 **Moriarty**

News concerning your brother.

 **Mycroft**

(suspicious now) Out with it.

 **Moriarty**

There is the small matter of payment...

 **Mycroft**

Tell me your news and then I’ll decide if it’s worth paying for.

 **Moriarty**

It is, good sir, it is.

Fade to black

 

 _Act III, Scene 4_

At the tavern. SHERLOCK, the other actors, LESTRADE and JOHN are celebrating.

 **Lestrade**

(to SHERLOCK) Master Morgan, you’re one fine Hamnet, I must say.

 **Sherlock**

It is my pleasure.

 **Lestrade**

(raises his cup) To the play!

 **All**

To the play!

They drink.

 **Serving Girl**

Master Watson, it’s been a while since I have seen you. I’ve missed you dearly.

 **John**

(embarrassed) Been busy.

 **Serving Girl**

Writing a new play, I hear. Does that mean you’ve found a new muse? Was I not muse enough?

JOHN chokes on his drink. SHERLOCK watches the exchange with interest.

 **Serving Girl**

(sighs) If only I were born rich. Or at least noble. These days one is as good as the other it seems.

 **Lestrade**

(grabs her around the hips) Whatever are you whining about now, lass?

 **Serving Girl**

Have you not heard the news? Master Sherlock Holmes is going to marry the Lady Donovan come next Sunday. He’s got the money, she the title. And all ends well.

SHERLOCK blanches at her words and looks at JOHN with wide eyes. JOHN’s expression darkens.

 **John**

Where’d you get that?

 **Serving Girl**

From my cousin’s own mouth. She’s a maid at the Holmes’ household and overheard Master Mycroft say it himself.

JOHN doesn’t look at SHERLOCK. He puts his drink down, gets up and leaves the tavern without another word.

 **Serving Girl**

What’s gotten into him?

 **Lestrade**

(shrugs) Poets.

SHERLOCK gets up to follow JOHN, but the streets are too crowded and it is dark. He cannot find him.

 

 _Act III, Scene 5_

SHERLOCK’s bedroom later that night. SHERLOCK lies on the bed, clearly distressed.

 **Sherlock**

Oh, that love must be so cruel to breathe life into a stone.

True love never did run smooth.

Have not the poets sung enough of it?

MYCROFT enters.

 **Mycroft**

I have put an end to your affair.

 **Sherlock**

(not listening) Leave me in peace.

 **Mycroft**

I will not have you spoil my plans.

 **Sherlock**

As if I ever could.

 **Mycroft**

Do you think nothing of this family? Does our future mean nothing to you at all?

 **Sherlock**

What more do you want from me?

 **Mycroft**

To keep your dick in your pants until you’re married. Or, if you must, find some whore to stick it into.

 **Sherlock**

(alarmed) What?

 **Mycroft**

Oh, I know of your affair. And I have come to tell you it is over. You will not see that man again.

 **Sherlock**

What have you done?

 **Mycroft**

What was necessary.

 **Sherlock**

If you have hurt him, I swear, I will kill you myself.

 **Mycroft**

Don’t be so dramatic. He means nothing to people of our-

SHERLOCK jumps out of bed and pulls his jacket on.

 **Mycroft**

SHERLOCK, where do you think you’re going?

SHERLOCK is not listening, but runs over to the balcony and climbs on the wall. Before MYCROFT can hold him back he jumps down and runs off across the grounds towards the river.

 

 _Act IV, Scene 1_

SHERLOCK enters JOHN’s rooms. There are clear signs of a struggle, JOHN is nowhere to be seen.

Despairing, believing JOHN to be dead, SHERLOCK goes to the theatre, the one place he’s been happiest.

 **Sherlock**

Oh, that I shall live your epitaph to write.

Why must I survive when you in earth are rotten.

Death never seemed so sweet.

To die, to sleep. To sleep - perchance to dream...

He lifts his hand. He’s holding a knife, the blade glints in the moonlight.

 **Sherlock**

Oh, happy dagger!

In the shadows, someone starts clapping.

 **Sherlock**

Who’s there?

 **Moriarty**

Bravo, young sir. Bravo! It was very dramatic!

 **Sherlock**

Who are you?

 **Moriarty**

I once was you. Before you came along, I was the one who got all the big roles. You have put a stop to that. So I have put a stop to him.

 **Sherlock**

It was you! You told my brother!

 **Moriarty**

At your service.

 **Sherlock**

Where’s John? Where have they taken him?

 **Moriarty**

(laughs) He’s where all sinners go in the end.

 **Sherlock**

You'll pay for this in blood!

SHERLOCK throws the dagger at MORIARTY. It misses. SHERLOCK lunges for one of the swords lying on the side of the stage. MORIARTY pulls his own sword. They start fighting.

They chase each other around the theatre, toppling over props, etc... Sometimes it seems MORIARTY is going to win, sometimes SHERLOCK.

Eventually MORIARTY stumbles and SHERLOCK lunges forward, buries his sword into MORIARTY’s chest. It’s more an accident than an actual killing.

 **Moriarty**

(surprised) You got me!

 **Sherlock**

Where is John? Quick man, you’re dying. Relieve your conscience before it is too late.

 **Moriarty**

‘Tis all your fault.

 **Sherlock**

Speak up!

 **Moriarty**

In jail where he belongs. Where you should be.

 **Sherlock**

He’s still alive.

 **Moriarty**

And soon he’ll meet his end. I die, but so will he.

MORIARTY dies.

 

 _Act IV, Scene 2_

In jail. JOHN sits on a bench together with some other sorry-looking customers.

 **Prisoner 1**

What brings you to this jolly party?

 **John**

Love.

 **Prisoner 1**

Aye, stole someone’s wife, did ya?

 **John**

Husband. Apparently.

 **Prisoner 1**

Ouch. That’s gonna cost ya.

 **John**

My head, most likely.

 **Prisoner 1**

Nah, they’ll just ship you off to the colonies. Execution’s too expensive these days. I myself am looking forward to it. New world, new life. Who knows...

Just out of curiosity, who’s husband was it?

 **John**

Lady Donovan’s. Prospective husband, I didn’t know.

 **Prisoner 1**

Oh, poor sod. You’re as good as dead.

 **John**

How so?

 **Prisoner**

Lord Donovan, her father, is the judge.

 **John**

I am fortune’s fool.

 

 _Act IV, Scene 3_

A room at the Holmes’ mansion. MYCROFT is sitting at a desk, writing. There is a bag of money before him. SHERLOCK storms in.

 **Sherlock**

I demand that you have John released immediately.

 **Mycroft**

It’s out of my hands.

 **Sherlock**

Well, I took it into mine.

MYCROFT looks up for the first time and notices the blood on SHERLOCK’s clothes.

 **Mycroft**

What did you do?

 **Sherlock**

Followed the script. The villain is dead. Now for the happy ending.

 **Mycroft**

Life’s not a play

 **Sherlock**

Yet all the world's a stage

and all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and their entrances,

and one man in his time plays many parts.

 **Mycroft**

Stop quoting poetry at me.

 **Sherlock**

Your next part is to end this tragedy.

 **Mycroft**

My part is to make sure this family gets the recognition it deserves. Besides, it’s out of my hands. I told you so.

 **Sherlock**

Pray tell me then, in whose hands must I seek my resolution?

 **Mycroft**

That would be Lord Donovan. He’s her Majesty’s appointed judge. But you better not mess up our contract!

 **Sherlock**

If John dies, so will I.

SHERLOCK exits.

 **Mycroft**

There he goes, the fool. All that work and he goes to spoil it for some writer. Mother would turn in her grave if she knew.

 

 _Act IV, Scene 4_

At LORD DONOVAN’s house. LADY DONOVAN is sitting in her drawing room. SHERLOCK enters, looking even more dishevelled, still wearing his bloodied clothes.

 **Lady Donovan**

Why Master Holmes, what brings you here at this hour and in such a state?

 **Sherlock**

I wish to speak to your father.

 **Lady Donovan**

I am afraid he is out.

 **Sherlock**

You’re afraid that he is, or is he out?

 **Lady Donovan**

He is out.

 **Sherlock**

That is bad news.

 **Lady Donovan**

Maybe I can be of help?

 **Sherlock**

I doubt it.

SHERLOCK turns to walk out again, then reconsiders and looks at her, calculating.

 **Sherlock**

Maybe I spoke too hasty. My Lady Donovan, I have a proposal.

 **Lady Donovan**

Concerning what?

 **Sherlock**

Concerning our marriage and both our future happiness.

 **Lady Donovan**

I am all ears.

 **Sherlock**

I am aware of your - shall we call it - friendship with a certain stable boy.

LADY DONOVAN blanches and tries to interrupt, but SHERLOCK motions for her to remain quiet.

 **Sherlock**

I do not care about it. As it so happens, I have a friendship myself that I would like to keep. My proposal, dear Lady, is that I will never again mention your friendship nor try to interfere with it, if you help me save my friendship today.

 **Lady Donovan**

Pray, tell me how?

 **Sherlock**

My friend is currently awaiting trial, which is to be held first thing tomorrow. Your father is to be his judge. I have already taken care of the squealer. All I am asking of you is that you convince your father to drop his case.

 **Lady Donovan**

How am I supposed to do that?

 **Sherlock**

I’ll leave that up to your daughterly wiles.

 **Lady Donovan**

I will do my best. I give you my word.

 **Sherlock**

We have a deal then?

 **Lady Donovan**

A deal it is.

 

 _Act IV, Scene 5_

The next morning at the jail. JOHN is still in the same cell.

 **Gaoler**

John Watson?

 **John**

That’s me.

 **Gaoler**

Up with you, then. You’re free to go.

 **John**

Free?

 **Gaoler**

You ‘eard me. Come on, ‘ere I change my mind.

JOHN gets up, surprised, and the gaoler opens the door and lets him out.

 **Prisoner 1**

Lucky bastard.

 

 _Act V, Scene 1_

At the theatre. SHERLOCK (in disguise, but clearly recognisable as SHERLOCK) is playing Hamnet in the finished play. We are watching the final scene in which the lovers Hamnet and Ethel are united and all ends well. The audience cheers.

JOHN watches from backstage. He looks happy.

 

 _Act V, Scene 2_

Inside a church. It’s the Holmes/Donovan wedding. MYCROFT looks very pleased with himself, so does LORD DONOVAN who is wearing a very new, very shiny robe.

SHERLOCK looks a bit sullen, but keeps his expression civil. LADY DONOVAN is smiling.

 **Priest**

And now, before God, I pronounce you husband and wife.

In the pews, among the other guests is JOHN. He’s not looking very happy either, but when SHERLOCK turns and their eyes meet, both smile.

 _Act V, Scene 3_

Stables. LADY DONOVAN and the stable boy are kissing. She is still wearing her wedding gown.

 

 _Act V, Scene 4_

In JOHN’s room. There are sheets of paper everywhere, some have been written on a few are still empty. JOHN is sporting a mustache, SHERLOCK’s hair is longer. It is clear that some time has passed.

JOHN is undressing SHERLOCK, who is holding some papers in his hand that he has just been reading. He lets them fall to the floor as JOHN pushes him onto the bed. They kiss.

Fade to black.

 

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Caersmane for enabling this mad ride!


End file.
